Still no one since i put my ad and very determined to go on. I was expecting another young man only 22 in the evening. One of those two young men that offered to marry me.

It was a funny evening. As i was very cold, and i can't stand cold weather, my friend, an actress lent me her fur coat; a very nice coat, never used.

I put it on to please her although i was'nt really at ease. She was really happy to help and to be able to justify this coat, never used in her wardrobe

I couldn't help worrying about my outfit which i thought sould make the guy fly

But he didn't.

We went to Porte des Lilas and, not far from the bar Le Relais des lilas and sat on a bench.

Despite my fur coat, my buttocks was getting frozen. He could have invited me in a coffee shop, but I was indulgent. We did not know much where to begin or what to do. After a long silence, I told him that I was cold

Would you like to have a walk?

Why not?

He was very respectful, who wouldn't be?

Me, several years older than him, him 22 years old

Me in my fur coat which I even didn't know the price unaware we were both a weird pair. ...

I asked him why he had replied to my ad, he explained that he hadn't met any girl in his native town neither in Paris as he was very usy with his work.

He really wanted to meet someone.

I am older than you, does that matters to you?

No, I would not have come to meet you

To myself ( right). I was feeling silly with my stupid questions;

I was cold anyway so i decided to go home.

We walk back to my friends' house, i said good bye and kissed him on the cheekn, then, at my great surprised, he began to cry.

Didn't know what to do.

First I was afraid, then I realized that this was nothing but loneliness.

Tired of living on his own, in his room, no one to talk to, every evening, no one to go out with ....

I Hugged him and firmly told him to go home and promised another rendez vous.

He left at last.

11 pm, a call, it was him.

Just wanted to let me know that he was home safe and sound, that he was glad to have spent sometime with me and would love to see me again.

We arranged another rendez vous tuesday evening: we both agree to go to movie and had diner at his appartment.

A tiny place, simply laid out, clear, welcoming. I sat on a chair, He cooked pasta with fish and butter. Not a very great dish, really simple. That doesn't matter, He tried that was the most important.

I was wondering in fact what i was doing in that place, late in the evening with a young man met the week before.

We finished diner, we had a friendly conversation then i finally ended in bed, not what you may imagine. Nothing happened; I trusted him and i was right.

He wouldn't have dared to touch me without my permission.

I left late in the night. He proposed to take me to Villedieu the following week end in his family.

That was the thing not to do. I feared t people would think that I wanted to take advantage of him, that he show weakness like on our first rendez vous, at any refusal from me, the least problem we could encounter in our married life.

I feared all that and that fear won.

He called several times, I gave various reasons for postponing the week end in his family then he stopped calling...

I didn't know if i was right, what do you think?